Are you feeling tired? Is life just a little too tough? Is getting out of bed too much to ask? We’ll don’t worry, because I’ve got good news for you.
AND THEY WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY.
Maybe you don’t know anything about marmots. This means your life is probably pretty terrible. Thank God we’ve got a marmot here to fix that.
Marmots are big fat squirrels that live in high mountains. While they live there they work hard at looking epic.
But most of all marmots want you to smile.
Not feeling happy yet? This marmot has some sticks for you.
Sticks not your thing? Maybe a little marmot kiss will cheer you up?
Still not happy? Don’t worry, Marmot isn’t angry, Marmot is just disappointed in you.
JK, Marmot came out of his hole just to cheer you up.
Don’t have a real marmot? Replicas work too.
Sure, sometimes marmots get tired.
And yes, they do get distracted snacking.
But fatter marmots are cuter marmots,
So really that’s a win-win for everyone.
So please be happy.
Or you’ll make marmots sad.
And no one wants that.
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Max Wilson is a graduate student studying ecology at Arizona State University. He writes here at Lesser Places, occasionally for Backpacker.com, and even more occasionally for scientific journals. You can follow him on twitter @maxomillions.